Wedding Dress Shopping Tips From My Own Wedding Dress Shopping Experience

Out of all the wedding planning check list items, shopping for a wedding dress was one I was perhaps least looking forward to. I know, I know…usually it’s the opposite, but I won’t lie. I was dreading the process – not only was it the one thing I was least familiar with when it comes to weddings, it’s also just innately more difficult for plus-size or curvy women (also the idea of trying on tons of dresses in a hot dressing room with a mask on just didn’t appeal to me).

You have to search the black hole of the internet to even find wedding dress boutiques that cater to sizes above a 14 – you’d be surprised how few discuss this on their site, or make it extremely hard to find. That was one thing I was very insistent about – I would only go to stores that have inclusive sizing. If I fell in love with a dress that didn’t have an inclusive sample size, that was fine, but I absolutely refused to patronize stores that don’t make ALL women feel beautiful and included.

That being said, obviously I NEED a wedding dress and the e-commerce space for dress shopping is not great, so thus I began my in-person hunt for the “mythical” dress.

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I actually shopped first in California, then again in Austin when I was able to attend in-person with my mom since California was not allowing guests to accompany brides shopping (another COVID bummer, for sure). I actually landed on a magnificent dress at BHLDN (since they JUST launched with plus size collection – I actually think every dress should come in every size, so just having 12 dresses to choose from wasn’t perfect, but it IS progress at least). I FaceTimed my mom, we both cried, and I said “yes to the dress” for the first time.

I still had an aching need to go shopping in-person with my mom, since that was one experience I didn’t want to miss out on just because of COVID. I fully expected it just to be for fun, since I’d already found a dress. At our very first stop, Melange Bridal, I tried on a few pieces from Milla Nova‘s new collection (since I’d been drawn to them constantly online) and BOOM. I found an even more perfect dress – one I literally didn’t want take off and had to try it on again at the end of my appointment and I couldn’t keep my mind off of it. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I’d find TWO dresses I loved, but I did.

I’m still figuring out what to do with the first dress I bought since I loved it so much – I might wear it as a reception dress or I might sell it. We shall see!!! Either way, I can’t say thank you enough to my sweet mama who gifted me my dresses. I love you beyond words!

All that being said, during the process, I picked up a few wedding dress shopping tips I wanted to share, in case it helped another timid bride out there!!

Wedding Dress Shopping Tips

1. Fly solo for your first time dress shopping. I know this is considered taboo, and many women dream of having all their besties in the room when they try on dresses, BUT if the thought of that makes you start sweating (I see you fellow people pleasers!), consider going alone. This allows you to try on more dresses, determine what styles you like without outside opinions, figure out what shapes flatter you best, get a feel for cost, and relieve you of the pressure to come out of your dressing room to model for everyone. This is what I did and it definitely helped me be more certain of what I liked and didn’t like.
2. Call ahead to double check size inclusivity, budget, and styles in stock. Like I mentioned previously, one of things I cared most about is only working with bridal salons that are size-inclusive. Nothing is worse than getting to a bridal salon and finding they only stock samples to size 10 and you have nothing to actually try on. Call ahead to make sure they have samples that will fit you, confirm they have dresses in your budget, and confirm their stock if there is a specific dress you had in mind. I hadn’t even thought about stores not having the dresses I saw on Instagram – but thankfully my planner called ahead for me and they were able to get the samples I wanted to try on in stock.
3. Ask for referrals from friends. As easy as it is to google wedding dress shops in your area, try crowdsourcing from your friends FIRST. Experience DOES matter, no mater what size you are, what color your skin in, what orientation or gender you are, or what your budget it. Go somewhere that’s going to be make you FEEL good.
4. Think of the logistics of your wedding day, season/weather, venue, travel, timing, before deciding on a dress.  Before opting for a super elaborate dress with a huge train, lots of buttons, layers of heavy fabric, a puffy skirt, lace, consider YOUR specific day. If you’re getting married on a ranch, don’t get a dress with fabric that’s going to pick up every leaf or dirt. If you’re flying to your wedding destination, look into airline regulations beforehand. You don’t want to fall in love with a ball gown style dress, only to have it exceed airport size specifications come travel time. Same goes with the weather – if you’re getting married outside in the summer, you don’t want to be miserable from your hot dress. Pick a dress that fits your day FIRST, then dive into specific styles.
5. Ignore the bridal sizes on the tag. I always talk about bridal dress sizes like we’re on “Whose Line is it Anyways?” everything is made up and nothing matter. Don’t ask what size a dress is, just try it on and see if it fits. Your bridal stylist will make sure your order the proper size based on your specific measurements.
6. Come with your hair and makeup done. It’s hard to feel bridal if your hair is messy and you have no makeup on. It’s easier to get a full idea of what your wedding day attire will look like if you feel a little elevated HMU-wise. You don’t have to go all out, but dab on some makeup and wear your hair up or down, depending on how you plan to sport it on the big day.
7. Give yourself plenty of time. If you’re like me and having a long engagement, there is nothing wrong with starting the process 14 months in advance. I just ordered my dress in October and they told me it’s not going to be here until SUMMER. Can you believe that?! Don’t feel rushed by ordering deadlines — start shopping early in case it takes a little while.
8. Choose your shopping crew wisely. And for the love of god, limit yourself to no more than 5 people. I went with three: my mom, one of my sisters, and one of my bridesmaids. Too many people = too many opinions. Choose people who are going to encourage you and make you feel wonderful about yourself.
9. Opt for shapewear that makes you feel good about yourself. I knew I wouldn’t be wearing a bra while trying on dresses since I would use alterations to make sure it fit properly on the day of. I just opted to have a nice pair of Honeylove shapewear shorts on that would make me feel supported in all the right places and that I knew wouldn’t roll down.
10. Consider how you feel in the dress. This should go without saying, but test to make sure you can move in your dress. No wedding gown is going to be as comfortable as your pajamas, but you don’t want to be pulling it up or constricted by it all night, so bust out some moves in the dressing room. If you’re planning a church wedding where you may need to kneel or sit during the ceremony, practice doing that in the gown. If you’re planning to drop it like it’s hot on the dance floor, try it out to make sure you can move how you want. And don’t forget – wedding days are LONG, make sure you can sit, eat, and go to the bathroom in your dress.
11. Limit yourself to no more than 3 bridal shops. Analysis paralysis is REAL – don’t go to so many bridal shops that you can’t remember the dresses you tried on. Narrow down the stores you really love first, and try to keep yourself to those stores to prevent the overwhelm.
12. Don’t take it as a sign if you don’t cry. If you’re not an emotional person, or if you see the dress more as a way to express your personal style, you may not be brought to tears in the dressing room—but that doesn’t mean you haven’t found your gown. Not all brides cry when they find “the one” — I certainly didn’t, and I am an emotional person!
13. Ignore tradition. Despite all the wedding dress shopping tips that are available about choosing the most appropriate silhouette, style, and fabric, you don’t have to listen to me, your consultant, or your mother. If you want to wear a taffeta ball gown on the beach or a trendy pantsuit to City Hall, do it—it’s your wedding. I ended up going with something a little more spunky than my mom originally picked out for me, and she was supportive in the end, even if it wasn’t the classic elegant gown she picked out for me.
14. Decide who you’re sharing your dress with in advance. Of course you don’t want your partner to see your pick, but what about friends? Make a rule before you start sending pics of the gown of how widely you’ll share it—just with the people at the appointment? Just with the bridal party? If you don’t set the rule in advance, you could feel trapped later into showing everyone, and lose some of the magic of the reveal on the big day. I shared photos of my dress with my bridesmaids, my sisters, my mom, and Nikhil’s mom. I’m also totally customizing my gown, so I wasn’t afraid to show people because I know it will look totally different on the day of.
15. Read the fine print before you decide. As I mentioned, I ordered my first dress and wasn’t able to return it after 30 days. My second dress (my final pick) was final at the time of purchase and could not be cancelled once it had been order.

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If you enjoyed these wedding dress shopping tips, check out my wedding advice column and Instagram for more wedding inspo!

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Paige Vaughn Photo is an Austin and San Francisco Wedding Photographer specializing in fun, romantic and vibrant wedding, engagement, couple and boudoir photography. Within the Bay Area, we serve San Francisco, the South Bay, Peninsula, and East Bay: San Jose, Sunnyvale, Mountain View, Palo Alto, Redwood City, San Carlos, Burlingame, Los Altos, Milpitas, Union City, Fremont, Berkeley, El Cerrito, Carmel, Monterey, Santa Cruz and surrounding areas. Within the Central Texas area, we serve: downtown Austin, Dripping Springs, Georgetown, East Austin, Wimberley, New Braunfels, San Antonio, and Houston. She is available for destination weddings and engagement sessions! Contact her for more detailed pricing.